Learning to Play with Yourself

How to Incorporate Joy and Laugther into Your Daily Life

You have likely noticed that Togetherness Times addresses one topic every month and explores this topic from multiple angles. When I asked my daughter what she thought I should write about for the month of April, she sat quiet for a moment and then stated, “How about for April Fool’s Day you write about how parents can play more with their children.” Simultaneously proud and inspired, I reflected on the importance of play and how easy it is as an adult to devalue it’s relevance in daily life. When I look at my children, I see that play is a natural state for a human being. It doesn’t have to be taught, it just simply comes pre-programmed in. Conversely, work is a state that is taught to us and reinforced with messages of worth. In today’s newsletter, we are going to explore the reasons why play is devalued, the benefits of play for your health and how to incorporate play into your daily life.

What You Will Learn This Week

  • Reasons why play is devalued

  • The benefits of play for your health

  • Suggestions for incorporating play into your daily life

  • Recommended resource for the week

Reasons Why Play is Devalued

The pressures of adulting are vast and only increase with age. Most adults I know, already feel stretched thin and often feel increased overwhelm or agitation at the idea of adding something new into their lives. The idea of play seems like a luxury, at best, or an unnecessary indulgence, at worst. To normalize and prepare for possible resistance, we are going to explore common reasons why adults do not prioritize play.

  1. Unmanaged physical, mental or emotional needs. If you are accustomed to producing or providing, your daily life is likely filled with an overabundance of these tasks. When this occurs, we usually neglect ourselves in order to manage everything we perceive to be on our plates. This can result in poor quality sleep, lack of exercise and eating convenient food. The emotional consequence of this can be high stress levels, anxiety/depression and burn out. When we are not caring for our bodies as they need, we will struggle to create an emotional space that is receptive to play.

  2. Over-functioning. We have discussed over-functioning in prior newsletters and the importance to creating awareness and appropriate boundaries. When we over-function for others, a natural by-product is that we are going to have less time for ourselves. For the purposes of today’s newsletter, I want you to consider over-functioning as a deposit into another’s bank account while you simultaneously make a withdrawal from your own.

  3. Internal messages. Many adults possess internal messages that they have acquired throughout their lives that pertain to producing, accruing material possessions, generating revenue and caring for others. The popular quotes like, “I’ll rest when I’m dead,” or “The early bird gets the worm,” apply here. Left unchecked, your internal messages can become tremendous tasks masters.

  4. Lack of support and overwhelm. There are numerous reasons why someone could find themselves in a position whereby they do not feel as though they have the support of others to manage their daily responsibilities. Invariably, there will be circumstances where this is true. There will also be circumstances where support may be available but not utilized. Feeling the weight of the world on your shoulders can be enough for most people to struggle to find playful energy.

  5. Lack of prioritization. Like with everything else in life, if you are not intentional about making it happen, it likely will not. When it comes to prioritizing play, if it is viewed as nice to have and not need to have, you will likely fail to create space for this on a regular basis.

Recap of Topic: Reasons Why Play is Devalued

Adulting is hard! The amount of stress, pressure and anxiety a person is likely to encounter throughout their lives is shaped much like a bell curve with the peak occurring between the ages of 30 through 50. In lieu of treating these years as a sprint, I am encouraging you to relate to them much like a marathon. When you run a marathon, you train, hydrate, snack and pause for a breather. Play is a fantastic way that adults can pause to catch their breath. Common reasons why adults fail to value play include, but are not limited to, unmanaged physical, emotional, and mental needs, over-functioning, internal messages, lack of support and lack of prioritization.

The Benefits of Play for Your Health

While vital for neural development in children, play is also an essential need for adults. Not only is it beneficial for your mental and physical health, play can increase your creativity and productivity. Below, we will explore the specific benefits of play for adults.

  1. Play improves your overall well-being. In a 2011 study by Rene Proyer and Willibald Ruch, they found that playfulness in adults was correlated to making people laugh, easing tension in others, and supporting creative processes in a group. Higher playfulness scores were associated with higher creativity, appreciating beauty, approaching life with excitement and energy, playful expressions of love, a sense of hope and a sense of humor.

  2. Play relieves stress. Play is fun which prompts our brains to release endorphins which in turn make us feel good.

  3. Play improves brain function. Games like chess, puzzles or other mentally challenging games can aid in the prevention of memory problems and promote brain functioning. The adage use it or lose it truly applies here.

  4. Play improves vitality and energy. Most of us know that stress lowers our immune system and makes us more susceptible to disease, but have you ever considered that the inverse would likely do the opposite. Since play and stress do not exist in the same space, play is a opportunity for your body and mind to recover.

Recap of Topic: Benefits of Play for Your Health

Play and stress do not exist in the same space. Just think about the last time you were enjoying something, but then it became stressful. Consider how your mood and body felt differently. An example of this could be a day at Disney World, which began with cooler temperatures and fewer people. As the day progressed, the outside temperature rose to 100 degrees, the number of inhabitants started to inch it’s way towards 100,000 people and the wait times for rides exceeded 120 minutes. This is truly a level of hell I do not wish on another human. When we are playing, we embrace joy, which is felt by every part of our body. As such, play helps to relieve stress, improve our overall well-being, increase brain functioning and improve vitality and energy.

Suggestions for Incorporating Play into Your Daily Life

Like with most other changes I discuss, the goal is slow and incremental progress. Finding ways to pair play with your existing routine, can also be an effective strategy for increasing joy without adding anything into your already hectic schedule. Below are some suggestions for how to incorporate play into your daily routine. As our next newsletters will address play with others, the following suggestions are ideas that you can do by yourself.

Stand Alone Play Ideas

Paired Play Ideas

Jigsaw, word and other puzzles- Jigsawscapes is one of my favorite ways to complete puzzles virtually

Sing- Pair with driving, showering, and doing chores

Play with your pets

Dance- Pair with cooking or doing chores

Video Games- Lego games are my absolute favorite

Listen to a comedy show- showering, cooking, or doing chores. Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall are absolutely fantastic.

Laughter Yoga

Listen to music

Watch a comedy show or movie

 

Engage in a sport or other enjoyable physical task

 

Color

 

Look at funny memes

 

Do an enjoyable craft

 

Recap of Topic: Suggestions for Incorporating Play

While it may be challenging to find space for play, I want you to consider the consequences of failing to do so. In comparison to stress, overwhelm and burnout, play offers a unique opportunity to renew and recover both physically and mentally. I challenge each of my readers to incorporate one act of play into your day for the next week. After the week, ask yourself how your life was impacted by choosing to play. Were you more or less productive, stressed and on edge?

Recommended Product of the Week

This week’s recommended product(s) is the Laughter Yoga. Practiced in more than 110 countries, laughter yoga combines laughter exercises with yoga breathing techniques (Pranayama) which brings more oxygen to our body and brain making you feel more energetic and healthy. Ten to 15 minutes of LY exercises can reduce stress, make your immune system stronger and keep your mind positive during challenging times.

'We don’t stop playing because we grow old….. We grow old because we stop playing.' –

George Bernard Shaw