Cindy’s Story

Stepping into motherhood was supposed to be a joyous journey; a chapter of love and new beginnings. Little did I know, it would also become a battleground with my own mind. The birth of my oldest son, Aiden, brought with it a storm I never anticipated—postpartum anxiety, an invisible adversary that clouded every moment with fear and doubt.

Instead of basking in the wonder of new life, I found myself crippled by thoughts of inadequacy. The fear of not being enough and not knowing enough, paralyzed me. Every decision and action was tainted by this overwhelming anxiety. I clung to my baby, afraid to let anyone else share the weight of responsibility, drowning in a sea of judgment and irritation.

It took me a while to realize that this wasn't just typical new parent worries magnified. It was a clash of hormones and a lifelong struggle with anxiety, intensified to an unbearable degree. The turning point came with the patient love of my spouse, friends and family and the slow, steady rhythm of everyday tasks.

Looking back, I wish I had known about postpartum anxiety beforehand, prepared myself with a support system and a plan that included professional help as needed. The journey was tough, but it taught me to give grace to myself, as well as others who were trying to help  and the importance of spreading awareness. No one should battle this alone, and knowing that there's support and understanding can make all the difference in navigating through the storm of postpartum anxiety. 

Tara’s Story

While I experienced postpartum depression (PPD) with all three of my children, my first episode PPD was the most severe and symptomatic. When I look back at my pregnancy with Brionna, I can see evidence of a perinatal mood disorder. I experienced Hyperemesis gravidarum while pregnant and was completely derailed in my ability to function. At the time, I thought my mood was attributed to how sick I felt. I’m sure my physical state during pregnancy did not help my mood before or after delivery.

PPD was like nothing I had ever experienced before or since. The onset was sudden and so jarring that I struggled to function. I didn’t sleep the entire time I was in the hospital and struggled to sleep when I got home. I felt like electricity was running through my mind and body and I had spikes in anxiety that made it difficult to breathe. I have never felt so hopeless or broken. I remembered thinking that I wanted to die because I couldn’t imagine living in that much pain and turmoil. Within six days, I found a psychiatrist who was willing to treat me. I will remain infinitely grateful to her and her practice for working me in. I began a combination of medications to include Zoloft, Ambien and Xanax. While the medications worked immediately to stabilize my sleep, I would still have to wait four weeks to feel relief from the crushing anxiety. My anxious brain obsessed on every detail and I refused to give up nursing. I must have consulted with ten different professionals about medication use and breast feeding. In the end, I settled on a solution of a sleep schedule and waiting 8 hours to pump or nurse after taking Ambien and Xanax.

Looking back, I could not have done any better or different than what I did. I knew immediately that I was impaired at a level that I was not capable of caring for a child. I knew that I would have to take responsibility for this impairment and seek treatment and stabilization. The experience was so traumatic for me that I refused to have any more children and even got rid of all of her baby supplies as she aged out of them. You can probably guess that I later changed my mind, but the fear of reliving that experience left me in such a place of avoidance that I couldn’t even consider the possibility for years. I now encourage moms to postpone all decisions on future children for the first year. I further encourage clear postpartum plans for subsequent pregnancies if you have had a prior experience with PPD.

Options for Treating Postpartum Depression

The National Institutes for Health estimates that approximately one in five women suffer from postpartum depression. In my opinion, PPD also known as perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, are under reported. Research has shown that new mothers are highly concerned about presenting an image of competency and will not admit that they are struggling or suffering. Compounded by inadequate screening procedures, many women suffering from PPD go unnoticed and do not receive treatment. Below are options for treating PPD.

1. Medication management. Depending on the severity of symptoms, medication management may be indicated for the treatment of PPD. Many doctors are sensitive to a woman’s desire to breastfeed and will work with patients to find medications that are known to be lactation friendly. A combination of medications may be needed to create immediate stabilization and can be adjusted or discontinued in time.

2. Individual therapy. Working with a therapist skilled in treating PDD has shown to be helpful in reducing distress. If you are uncertain how to find a therapist with these qualifications, you can check with your insurance company to ask about clinicians with these credentials. You can additionally check out Psychology Today for clinicians near you. Postpartum Support International (PSI) has a directory on their website of clinicians who are trained in working with PDD.

3. Support groups. For many new mom’s the isolation of staying at home caring for a newborn is distressing. Sometimes connecting with other moms who are going through the same or similar experiences helps to offset the isolation and shame. To find these groups, you can check with the hospital where the baby was delivered to ask if they have mommy and me groups. You can additionally speak with your delivering OBGYN about resources in the community. It is important to note that many depressed moms will not want to leave the house to socialize as this feels like a monumental task.

4. Domestic support. Caring for and nursing a newborn is a full-time job. Many mom’s have little time or energy to cook meals, clean the home, wash laundry or attend to other children. Receiving domestic support for any of these responsibilities help to lighten their mental and physical load.

5. Lactation support. Nursing is a learned skill for both mom and baby. I will repeat this. Nursing is a learned skill for both mom and baby. Both individuals have to learn how to latch, unlatch, and position their bodies. It is not nearly as intuitive as people imagine and constant work. Lactation consultants are excellent resources to assist mom’s in learning how to nurse with their child. Further, having options for feeding alternative to nursing is necessary for many moms. Consulting with a pediatrician about formula options can reduce an enormous amount of pressure and stress for a new mom.

6. Sleep. Sleep is vital for our emotional, mental and physical well-being. New mom’s need sleep as their bodies are recovering from labor and delivery and, often times, are trying to support milk production to sustain the infant. Sleep shifts can assist in helping both parents to get adequate rest. Having a friend or family member take an overnight shift can also allow for uninterrupted, restorative sleep. As the baby ages, parents may benefit from consulting with a baby sleep expert who can assist in sleep training the infant to allow for better quality sleep for the household.

7. Couples counseling. Couples counseling may be indicated for new parents who are struggling to adjust to the rapid changes. Like most other stressful situations, having a newborn can escalate conflict between parents who are sleep deprived, stressed out and anxious.

Recap of Topic: Options for Treating Postpartum Depression

An estimated one in five women suffer from PPD. While this number, in my opinion, is under reported, increased awareness of this topic has led to improvements in training and treatment options for new moms. If you or someone you know is suffering from PPD, medication management, individual counseling, support groups, domestic support, lactation support, sleep and couples counseling are all viable options for treatment.

Supporting a Loved One with Postpartum Depression

As previously stated, many new moms do not present as depressed and will not admit to being depressed if asked. Assessing for PPD requires the use of nuanced questions that address quality of sleep, mood swings, fears of harm and episodes of crying or sadness, to name a few. To complicate the issue, moms cannot always articulate what they need from themselves or others to feel better. In lieu of stating, “Let me know if you need anything.” or asking, “What can I do?”, we will review more effective ways to support new moms below.

1. Take gentle action. You can say something like, “I will drop off a meal for you this week. Let me know what day works best.” You can also say, “I’m free on Saturday. I’d like to come by and offer domestic support for you. Does noon work?” By taking gentle action and removing the mental load from the new parents, you bypass the resistance associated with having to make a decision.

2. Encourage mom to move her body. This may be gradual at first due to ongoing healing, but movement is a great resource for regulating the nervous system. Anxious and upset mommies can benefit from rocking in the rocking chair or taking a walk outside. When the new mom is cleared to exercise, supporting her to create a consistent exercise routine will also act as a natural anti-depressant.

3. Listen without judgement or solutions. If a new mom opens up about her experience of being a mom, let her talk. Don’t offer solutions or attempt to fix the situation for her. Just the process of releasing the stress by sharing it with a concerned and loving person, is healing. Even if you are a mom, don’t assume that you know the experience of another mother.

4. Express concerns lovingly. If you see a new mom suffering from depression, let her know that you see her and are concerned about her with love. While you can’t solve the situation, you can express concern and let the mom know that you are here to listen and support. You can ask if the mom would like help in finding resources and services.

Recap of Topic: Supporting a Loved One with PPD

Having a child is a vulnerable season for many women. Not only are moms sleep deprived and hormonal, they are inundated with tasks that, in many cases, they have never done before. The learning curve for caring for an infant is steep and unforgiving. Many new moms struggle with feelings of anxiety, sadness and overwhelm. If you know someone suffering from PPD, you can take gentle action, encourage mom to move her body, listen without judgment and express concerns lovingly.

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